Battling Sanity, I Turn to Marijuana

With all that has happened in the nation in the last 30 days it’s a wonder ANY of us are sane. I waited to chime in thinking it wasn’t my place. Then waited longer deciding on my tone and my voice. I decided neither mattered and I should do as I always do… DO ME! My community will either like it or hate it. Either way I plan to stay true to me and somehow tie it all into marijuana.

So, here it is.

Exactly 1 month and 1 day ago at 6 am I woke up to a hashtag #AltonSterling on Social Media. Not knowing who nor what was going on, I immediately googled the name “Alton Sterling” The first thing on the search was a live CNN address from Alton’s children’s m mother, Quinyetta McMillon, and a young boy crying hysterically about how he wanted his daddy. I could tell  by the beautifully written address by Ms. McMillon, brother Sterling had been shot by police. Wanting to understand the details before I made a judgment, I researched further. The next video  I found I watched but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what to expect but I know I wasn’t ready for what I saw. For me, the why doesn’t matter anymore. I know what I saw. I know how I felt when I saw it.

I don’t care why.

Yet, while the nation is talking about my brother Alton Sterling and debating the why and the who’s, my community loses another brother by police in Falcon Heights , MN. Philando Castile

24 hours 2 police shot 2 brothers.

The sadness of losing my  community brothers and knowing Donald Trump was the Republican elect was enough to send me into a depression. As clinically depressed person  I could feel my body battling the darkness and my subconscious saying STAY ALERT! I was drifting and I was afraid.  I know I don’t have time to be depressed but I also know sometimes I wait till it’s too late. I have a Blog, Dispensary and a 13-year-old that I need to be awake for. I wasn’t going back to meds. I was weak and I needed holistic remedies.

Green shake, all natural body care products and my 2 NEW “go to” cannabis products. A flower Sativa from House of Herbs called XJ13. XJ13 is a paranoia free strain that quickly relieves my stress and gives me a quick mood adjustment. The other product is a wax. For wax  I use vaping as my dosing method. My wax is also a Sativa called Space Dream. It’s from Silver Sage ( both available at Nevada Wellness Center). What I love most is, I am in control of my treatment. I CHOOSE!!

Although I avoided a depression this time I have not forgotten. I am not mad I just know I will never be able unsee what I saw and un feel what I felt. I didn’t smoke to avoid what is going on, I smoked to ensure I didn’t get lost in what is going on.  I am a better me when I am medicated. gratefully it’s all natural and I choose my treatment.

~ A’Esha Goins








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