Although I am not sure if anyone ever reads these things I am always challenged to put my beliefs and ideals in the atmosphere. Still struggling with my reality versus what I have learned.
My reality is, I am a Black woman in an America that doesn’t identify with my struggle. That although I am what one would consider “working class” I am still fighting my way out of the poverty brown bag.
What I was taught, is that black women in church are seen and not heard, unless I can sing or it’s women’s day.
I am not sure how what I was taught is supposed to help my reality which is part of the reason I have issues. I struggle with having a voice and using it. Along with understanding that I have a voice and should be using it. SMH What I have been taught collides with my reality daily.
Being an advocate for Cannabis has isolated me from some friends but allowed me to make new ones. I’ve had to take a stand on ideas that I felt were important but went against what others thought were essential. I’m not always on an island but I am sure every activist/advocate feels like they are alone and the work is too much. Even worst does the work matter? Am I making a difference?
As a lobbyist I struggled with my humility. Negotiating decisions that will effect my community. Understanding what my community may not understand. Along with testifying on behalf of my community, fully knowing that my community didn’t choose me, I stood up. Yea, this is my truth.
I’m crying even as I type.
I wake up some days and hope that I have all the answers or at least one answer. At least I have learned that it is ok to say, “I don’t know.” Which is growth, because I really don’t.
You’re probably wondering what does any of this have to do with Cannabis? It has everything to do with it. Cannabis hasn’t just become my business it is my cause and with that comes an awareness that I never had before. Cannabis is a Social Justice issue that spans across, economic justice, housing, homelessness, veterans, mothers, children, criminal justice reform, and race relations. Yea, Cannabis is the nations Pandora’s Box of Policy.
Today, I study more than anything else. Reading statutes and regulations across America and abroad. Trying to understand how I can best serve my sisters and brothers across America gain the posture they need in their states along with battling my own battles in my State.
This is my truth, mostly I am babbling but I hope this encourages someone to stay the course.