PTSD From The War on Drugs

According to Make the Connection website for veterans some of the signs of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are;

Most of the Black and Brown men/women I know have displayed 3 or more of these signs when and or after an interaction with leadership and or law officials. I’m talking about law abiding men/women. Men/Women with families and respectable lifestyles. I’ve even watched Black and Brown men/Women with means and acces display 3 or more of these signs after being pulled over by police.

This information has value because THIS is why there aren’t more Black and Brown men and women in the industry. Its not JUST because of the finances or the lack of information, it is because WE ARE AFRAID OF THE SYSTEM!!

EVERYONE is dancing around the truth because no one wants to blame the USA. There’s enough going on and as a people we don’t like to ruffle feathers, which is another sign of PTSD, but I digress. The signs are real. The issue is real and the sooner we begin to have this discussion in our communities the more likely we are not to miss the green opportunity.

In June 1971, President Nixon declared a “war on drugs.” During the Regan era the number of people behind bars for nonviolent drug law offenses increased from 50,000 in 1980 to over 400,000 by 1997. Today the numbers are more like 700,000 people still arrested for marijuana offenses each year and almost 500,000 people still behind bars for nothing more than a drug law violation. (75% if these people are Black and Brown)

These numbers mean that many Black and Brown Americans probably know or is related to someone in jail for marijuana. Yep, it’s that real. Many of us are effected by the War on Drugs and we need to talk about it. We need to begin to gather to heal the deep rooted wounds caused by this war. This is what they mean when they use the big word “disenfranchised.” They are referring to our plight.

I’m so angry I really don’t have anything else to say.

Watch this video!

My Cannabis and #METOO

I've learned to embrace my cannabis
My Cannabis

There is a place in my mind I try to stay away from. It’s the place that recalls abuse, regret and shame. Over the years I’ve learned that forgiveness of people and most importantly “myself” is essential to healing.

What has been my personal saving grace is my ability to understand that people make mistakes, PTSD is real, I am NOT “CRAZY” and Cannabis is my treatment of choice.

It’s been over 30 years since the last time I was physically abused (#METOO) but some days, the reminder of how I felt when it happened, will pull on my emotions and require me to tend to my needs. Scenarios will happen at work that will take me back to 14 years old. Often times I will excuse myself from the store. I’ll take a walk to allow myself time to meditate on my affirmations, ” I am powerful and NO ONE can hold me down, back or cause me to react but me” ” I am in control of my own greatness and I give myself permission to be DOPE!”

No matter how many years have past that ache of being a victim can creep up on me unannounced. It’s a feeling of weakness, rejection and abandonment. Those emotions feed fear into my present and could hold me back from future and legacy. Thank goodness I’m not ashamed to stop and take care of ME.

Being able to affirm myself, micro-dose with my favorite sativa hybrid vape oil and take time to love on me, has allowed me to be my best me. It’s helped me embrace my future and conquer my past. I never thought I could be the me that I am. I thought I would always be a slave to my victim emotions and thoughts. I am truly living in a #blackgirlmagic I NEVER could have imagined. Being able to understand myself enough to treat myself is liberating!! I feel powerful!!

PTSD is real! I know because I live with it everyday. It’s a disease that can’t be escaped or cured BUT it can be treated and Cannabis has been my answer. I didn’t need the #METOO movement to accept my past. Nor did I need it to expose my past. I needed the movement because I am free to talk about my treatment and WHY it has worked for me.

I admire the men and women that have used the opportunity to expose and release. I look forward to the men and women that will embrace their OWN courage in their time.

Finding Your Way to The Other Side of Trauma With Cannabis

As posted in Elevate

I wasn’t sure how to start this piece. How do I have a conversation about what happened on October 1? Should I say where I was? Seems insignificant in comparison to where the victims were. Do I say how I felt? How I feel isn’t as important as how the victims and their families feel.

Honestly, I am unsure if anything I write matters in comparison.

Almost a month ago, Las Vegas was involved in a mass shooting. This city and I will never be the same.

Two days after the shooting I boarded a plane to California to see my son. The timing couldn’t have been any better. I was overwhelmed with emotions and I needed to hug my son. As I sat on the plane I began to write my son a letter. It’s a habit I began the first time I flew away after he was born. It helps relieve my anxiety.

You see, I am Bipolar type 2. As a result of my mental illness, I suffer from mania from time to time. As I get older it gets worst. I am not sure when or why I get anxiety and or panic attacks, they just happen. Here I was on a plane to California two days after the nation’s deadliest mass shooting and the pilot had just announced we were going to be delayed due to Air Force One landing.

I felt myself panicking.

I took deep breaths and started talking myself down. Reminding myself that my anxiety was all in my mind. I was okay. Everything would be okay. My panic was increasing and I knew I had just a very few minutes left before I would be irrational. I jumped up and asked to use the restroom. The flight attended told me I had to be quick because they were sure we were going to be given the okay to take off soon.

I went into the restroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I told myself to calm down. Nothing was helping. Thankfully I carry my RELAX CBD vape pen around my neck at all times. I knew I was risking being thrown off the plane but I had to take the chance. I was overwhelmed and seconds away from a full-fledged panic attack. If you’ve never had a panic attack, for some, the symptoms mimic a heart attack.

I inhaled the vape three times and allowed myself to relax.

The flight attendant knocked on the door and said they had been given the okay to take off and I would need to take my seat. I sprayed my body spray before exiting and went to my seat. My anxiety had subsided before we had taken off. I relaxed and enjoyed my flight.

Many people are suffering from 1 October in a variety of ways. I have received an influx of questions regarding cannabis and its effects on PTSD, anxiety, and stress. Every time someone asks me about treating their ailments I ALWAYS recommend a CBD (cannabidiol) treatment. CBD is cannabis’ secret weapon and has significant medical benefits, but does not make people feel “stoned” and can actually counteract the psycho-activity of THC. The serum comes in many different forms — one less intrusive than the other. CBD has been known to send lifetime illnesses in remission and submission. The cannabinoid has been effective in dissolving blood clots, acts as a healing aid for skin issues and has anti-inflammatory properties.

For me, it takes the place of my anti-depressants and anxiety pills.

I am proud of how the Las Vegas community has come together and loved on each other. If I were able to, I would have offered EVERY SINGLE one of the victims and their families a week’s supply of CBD elixir. I know it would have aided in some relief as they dealt with what they had witnessed. We are #VegasStrong.